tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31805477832862317172012-04-15T20:31:42.855-04:00cycopathshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13958957138156505800noreply@blogger.comBlogger148125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-862810539926949432008-02-13T17:45:00.009-05:002008-02-14T00:14:58.783-05:00

If your first thought in seeing the picture above is, "DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?!?", you're not alone, that's all I gotta say. Well that and close your browser before your boss sees what's on your screen.No, that's not the Zodiac killer, it's Cadel Evans. Looking odder than ever at the Team Silence Lotto presentation, he suddenly finds himself elevated by the ASO to Tour favorite. What's

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-28319906704096290002008-02-12T00:02:00.000-05:002008-02-12T00:16:21.783-05:00

Clinique boardroom wall, unknown photographer.I'm never, ever leaving home again without my CR1. Seriously! Carbon fiber is the new black. Or something. Those ten pounds the camera adds? Gone with CF. Blemishes and zits? Poof! they are no more. Is your ass in danger of dragging on the ground? Nuh-uh, not with a plastic bike. Just ask Eva Longoria. Why would she ever go out without her

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-55999742409593827162008-02-11T23:27:00.000-05:002008-02-12T00:22:04.125-05:00

Feeling uncomfortable, Frankie?...phobe. In a curiously unattributed Competitive Cyclist article full of deep truths such as "do not think a group ride of Cat 3's is anything like a pack of pros", Frank Schleck is shown, nay, put on display for having problems with man love. Frank takes issue with being called a "faggot" by a passing jackass motorist. A pro cyclist, someone who rides 20,000

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-68315158207277930902007-11-27T23:21:00.000-05:002007-11-28T22:48:54.890-05:00

Yes, the Cycopaths are back. And when I say "Cycopaths", I mean platogrande. And when I say back I mean "for now". You may be wondering what happened to us? Were platogrande's Catalan origins discovered while in Madrid, leading to months of torture in a cellar under la Puerta del Sol? Was Mr. 60 rubbed-out by an elite Team CSC tactical unit? (as a team-building exercise, of course).Alas, the

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-50180094021899511572007-11-27T22:58:00.000-05:002007-11-28T00:01:38.916-05:00

No more Euros for you, foo'!T-Mobile today said to cycling today, "we r thru". Yes, the multinational megatelco that shrugged off Sergui Gonchar (or is it Honchar?) and Jan Ullrich doping scandals apparently found young Patrick Sinkewitz' transgressions to be too much. The question that remains is, was it the EPO or the testo that did it? Seriously, if Sinkewitz had only done one or the other,

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-10842718775105364302007-07-27T10:16:00.000-04:002007-07-27T10:23:49.115-04:00

It has been suggested on these very pages that perhaps I don't like Australians. That's not true, at all. However, I admit to being pleased to see Cadel Evans doing his thing: hanging around but not winning anything (unless, of course, Vino is formally stripped of his TT win for being a doper). Why does the sight of Cadel admirably hanging on then getting dropped like a bad habit make me feel

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-79253708822534025752007-07-18T09:18:00.001-04:002007-07-18T13:13:38.470-04:00

Today's "oh snap" moments come to us courtesy of T-Mobile's Patrick Sinkewitz. Not only did the former Tour of Germany winner put a 78 year old Tour fan into a coma with his teeth (how does that happen?), but now reports are coming out that he's just like everybody else a doper. That's right, another positive testosterone test. The result? German TV is done with le Tour. Never mind the fact

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-44211432327293332232007-07-13T10:22:00.001-04:002007-07-13T11:17:53.860-04:00

What's that, Bill? Here. Let me roll that for you.Nothing concerning VDB surprises us anymore. Really!The latest controversy surrounding cycling's own Lindsay Lohan (skinnier, more Belgian) are reports that he has run away with a married woman from Deinze, Belgium and her 22 month-old child to Normandy.Of course he did! Not mentioned in any news report is that Frank is under the impression that

mr60%http://www.blogger.com/profile/02223301976833375396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-7321890390278228622007-07-12T08:51:00.000-04:002007-07-12T11:13:41.029-04:00

This is where you go to meet the CycopathsIf you've ever had doubts about the popularity of the Cycopaths, put them away, because we're but one step short of having to fight-off the paparazzi. You know you're famous when a random person on the subway has read your blog. That's right, while I was taking the subway instead of riding the new carbon fiber Platogrande-mobile in the pouring rain, an

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-60735983718578802662007-07-11T11:12:00.000-04:002007-07-12T06:16:00.202-04:00

Fabulous Fabian Cancellara's win in yesterday's Stage 3 of le Tour was absolutely thrilling. Well, until about five seconds after he crossed the line, when I remembered which team he is on and who runs that team. Any fan who is not skeptical these days of any fantastic race results is a fool. The greater fool still is the fan who denies that when the master puppeteer, Bjarne "Mr 60%" Riis is

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-41630199858958344792007-07-09T22:30:00.000-04:002007-07-10T09:43:59.233-04:00

Tom Boonen has long been a source of inspiration here at Cycopaths HQ. Aside from being a beast on the bike, he shares other great qualities with your humble authors: class, charm and devastating good looks. It is especially his classiness that distinguishes him from the likes of the father of Ewan McEwen.McEwen is like the hot girlfriend you can't dump because she's, well, so hot. He's

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-23045794044036005132007-07-07T00:22:00.001-04:002007-07-10T17:12:44.921-04:00

Is this the face of a champion?On the eve of the 2007 Tour de France, Cycopaths readers are no doubt wondering what we think will come of this Tour. Well, aside from another doping scandal, natch. While I won't tell you who will win, I'll tell you who won't, and that's Cadel Evans. How is this guy ever considered one of the favorites? He's won exactly one race since 2004 [A Tour of Romandie

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-55107842321512000352007-07-06T07:53:00.000-04:002007-07-10T17:12:19.749-04:00

One more finger, Miguel.As we, the Cycopaths prepare our 2007 Tour de France previews, I find myself reflecting on the 1996 Tour. I still believe that our hero, Miguel Indurain, had he not cracked because of Bjarne "Mr. 60%" Riis' attacks, would have controlled the race and won. However, recent developments have led me to the conclusion that he is the real winner anyway, despite his "11th"

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-5695746677022918942007-07-05T09:01:00.000-04:002007-07-05T09:44:07.817-04:00

Readers of Cycopaths are no doubt wondering about the recent slackness of posting. The truth is, we're overwhelmed by the flow of cycling doping news streaming in from Europe. Among the latest shocking (?) news is that Alessandro "Ale-Jet" Petacchi is under investigation for doping, and thereby suspended by his team (they're just following orders, you know). Worse still for Ale-Jet is that he

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-36796437234495878202007-07-01T10:08:00.000-04:002007-07-01T10:14:45.125-04:00

We here at Teh Cycopaths contend that there is more to life that just bike racing news.There's also unintentional poetry to be found in said news! From a recent cyclingnews piece:need to inject Erythropoietinimmediatelysince,at the time,the drug was only detectable for a few days.You have to pass by.You have to hurrybecause you need to do it today,said the doctor.Di Luca responded

mr60%http://www.blogger.com/profile/02223301976833375396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-32915318257734697662007-06-18T21:29:00.000-04:002007-06-18T21:42:07.807-04:00

Nice try, Gibo, he's no alienApparently Ivan Basso is in fact human, not an extraterrestrial. Well, that is if you believe Basso:"Since I confessed my errors I have started to feel better with myself and towards my family. It is true that I deceived for one year because I was afraid of being uncovered, but it is human to make mistakes." His elusive dog, Birrillo, on the other

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-30878647249786142722007-06-18T08:31:00.001-04:002007-06-19T06:48:31.535-04:00

Apparently New Jersey thinks that quick-release wheels are a big problem. So big, that it's more important for lawmakers to ban them than to, say, pay attention to mathematics education or crime (unless of course you consider making it more difficult to steal wheels to be crime-fighting).BUT IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN!!!How children are being harmed by quick-release wheels is unclear. What is

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-91086662646906708082007-06-12T21:26:00.000-04:002007-06-12T23:03:27.446-04:00

In today's Dauphiné Libéré, Christophe "The Tongue" Moreau showed us all how it's done. At 36 year old, "le chien" still has it, winning the stage the old fashioned way, riding the hardest. For possibly the first time ever, I find myself admiring old Cristophe. Until now, I've always thought of him as well, downright annoying. Maybe it's the pathetic attempts at growing a beard. Maybe it's

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-58224847360799984772007-06-05T22:09:00.001-04:002007-06-05T22:21:38.406-04:00

Watching the presidential debates, my better half suggested that maybe I should run for President. Presumptuous? I think not. Let's check the facts. Charm and wit? Check! Devastating good looks? Check! Intelligent opinions on everything? Check! What else is there? Ah, yes, a running mate. An obvious choice would be my colleague, Mr. 60%, but I figured I'd be more electable with

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-91146475151281517432007-05-31T09:16:00.000-04:002007-05-31T09:36:17.933-04:00

Dear readers, I tell you, la EPO must be a helluva drug. Not that I've ever tried it, but now I understand why Lance used to sleep in an altitude tent and why so many pros do, umm, training camps in Mexico. Hiking across the Grand Canyon these last few days with a big backpack was like altitude, resistance, and cross training all rolled into one. Maybe it's my imagination, but after some time

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-82485187690858298662007-05-25T07:19:00.000-04:002007-05-25T07:36:13.930-04:00

Seriously now, how old is Andy Schleck, anyway? 13? 14, tops.And he's the revelation of this year's Giro.He's riding so strong that he even made 'The Killer' turn pussy:"I'm particularly afraid of Schleck," said Danilo Di Luca "We don't know him."Wow, huh?When Mr. 60 was fourteen he wasn't leading a major classification in an international stage race, he was doing what normal 14 year olds do:

mr60%http://www.blogger.com/profile/02223301976833375396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-55961089049981825752007-05-24T17:45:00.000-04:002007-05-24T17:40:51.972-04:00

Cycopaths' Italian correspondent, Ghost Face Climber, has checked in with the following special report on Mickael Buffaz' escape in yesterday's Giro stage (previously covered by Mr. 60%):Perhaps not accustomed to a Frenchman leading a race, Mickael Buffaz suffered a mental breakdown when faced with the reality of being five minutes up on the peloton. Buffaz was seen crying by the side of the

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-32926240815996260222007-05-24T17:38:00.000-04:002007-05-24T17:39:37.601-04:00

In yesterday's Giro stage, young Frenchmen Mickael Buffaz inadvertently found himself ahead of the peloton by five minutes. He'd gone for an intermediate sprint at the same time that the group decided to sit up and take it easy.So what did the enterprising young man do? Did he realize his once in a lifetime opportunity? Did he put his head down and head for certain glory at the finish line? Ha!

mr60%http://www.blogger.com/profile/02223301976833375396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-28552380639417081012007-05-24T06:29:00.000-04:002007-05-24T07:05:17.020-04:00

Another day, another doping scandal for T-Mobile. This one concerns Bert Dietz, a rider for the squad from 1994 to 1998, and his claims that he received a variety of drugs from team doctors, including growth hormones, anabolics, cortisone, and EPO. His confession follows those of Christian Henn, soigner Jeff D'Hont, along with team doctors Andreas Schmid and Lothar Heinrich. Sounds like they had

mr60%http://www.blogger.com/profile/02223301976833375396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3180547783286231717.post-27783066983905795762007-05-18T09:59:00.001-04:002007-05-18T16:31:52.948-04:00

Can't touch thisThat's Doctor Platogrande to you. Indeed, the Cycopaths are back with some serious street cred, joining the ranks of cycling's intellectual elite. A PhD does that. Not like I'm going to let it get to my head or anything.But on to the news. DiLuca is in pink, but still has no class. Mr. 60's man-crush, Iban Mayo, is looking good in the Giro too. Basso is taking the fall for

platograndehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03526945808524667483noreply@blogger.com2