Simoni was wrong

Nice try, Gibo, he's no alien

Apparently Ivan Basso is in fact human, not an extraterrestrial. Well, that is if you believe Basso:

"Since I confessed my errors I have started to feel better with myself and towards my family. It is true that I deceived for one year because I was afraid of being uncovered, but it is human to make mistakes."

His elusive dog, Birrillo, on the other hand, is known to have contact with extraterrestrials. We at Cycopaths believe a picture is worth a thousand words:

So there you have it. Birrillo remains at large because he's on another planet. I'll bet he and VDB see each other on weekends for unicorn rides across the Martian countryside.

New Jersey hates cycling, common sense

Apparently New Jersey thinks that quick-release wheels are a big problem. So big, that it's more important for lawmakers to ban them than to, say, pay attention to mathematics education or crime (unless of course you consider making it more difficult to steal wheels to be crime-fighting).

BUT IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN!!!

How children are being harmed by quick-release wheels is unclear. What is totally clear is that politicians have no @#$%ing clue, more so than usual, when bicycles are the issue. Cyclist killed on 9W [major cycling route out of NYC -Ed.]? Ban bikes from riding there! Children need saving from QR wheels? Ban them! (the wheels, not the children, though that may not be far behind -- can't be harmed if they're banned, right? it just makes sense). In any case, we recommend the Welsh "harness of oranges" as a safety device:

Anything for the children

The 80s called: they want their panache back

In today's Dauphiné Libéré, Christophe "The Tongue" Moreau showed us all how it's done. At 36 year old, "le chien" still has it, winning the stage the old fashioned way, riding the hardest. For possibly the first time ever, I find myself admiring old Cristophe. Until now, I've always thought of him as well, downright annoying. Maybe it's the pathetic attempts at growing a beard. Maybe it's the tongue? Physical defects aside, let us not forget the Festina connection (leaving the fact that he's French out of it -- what is with the French and doping-scandal-tainted riders becoming national heroes?). Despite it all, Moreau made me feel warm and fuzzy today. There's nothing like a guy dragging a break across the countryside and still winning the race. Way to go, old man!

Speaking of the DL, was I not right about Levi Leipheimer? Even he admits now that he peaks too early. Here's what the American pseudo-stage-racer had to say about last year's poor timing:

"I really wanted to win the Dauphiné because I grew up with this race when I heard of Greg LeMond going for it. I thought it was really nice to put my name in the record books but I might have missed some strength because of that at the Tour. This time, I'm hoping to have delayed my peak form a little bit."

Remember, you heard it here first. Staying on the topic of talented Americans with unfulfilled potential, it's been pretty clear that Tom Danielson doesn't have the stomach for the big races (really!), dropping out with yet another spot of digestive distress. Good luck making the Tour squad, Tommy!

Platogrande for President?

Watching the presidential debates, my better half suggested that maybe I should run for President. Presumptuous? I think not. Let's check the facts. Charm and wit? Check! Devastating good looks? Check! Intelligent opinions on everything? Check! What else is there? Ah, yes, a running mate. An obvious choice would be my colleague, Mr. 60%, but I figured I'd be more electable with someone more famous, someone recognizable across the world, not just in the US. I hit upon Lance Armstrong. It seemed like a great idea, a Platogrande/Armstrong ticket, but then I realized that I'm not quite old enough and, more importantly, Lance would probably have me assassinated to gain the Presidency for himself. If a bloody weapon was seen being tossed into a dumpster from Lance's presidential motorcade, the new White House Chief of Staff Johan Bruyneel (is he even a US citizen?) would somehow explain it away. No, my friends, running for President would be too risky so I'll stick to blogging for now.