Above, Mario doing what he did best: winning and making sure his ass didn't look too big.
This one picture has done more damage to the image of cycling than all of the Lance's and Floyd's combined.
Maillot Jaune, Maglia Rosa, World Championship: no jersey was deemed too gaudy for matching shorts. 
For a Giro prologue Mario once dressed like a chubby Mary-Kate Olsen. 
Here he looks like the creepy Italian exchange student who eagerly hits on the ugly chicks at a Delta Sigma Delta party. 
That's part of the saddle between his legs, right? And damn if that camel doesn't look like he's having the time of his life.
Another of his famous wacky prologue skinsuits. The Italians ate it up: Oh, there's that-a crazy Mario again! 
Mario fed the children of many Flemish helmet painters throughout his career.
Many. 
Life after cycling: Male Model Mario doing his best acciao azzurri.Hey Mario! Who has more STYLE THAN YOU?
Next time on Fuck Was You Thinking: Danilo Hondo!
