Mr. 49%? I hope not.

Fabulous Fabian Cancellara's win in yesterday's Stage 3 of le Tour was absolutely thrilling. Well, until about five seconds after he crossed the line, when I remembered which team he is on and who runs that team. Any fan who is not skeptical these days of any fantastic race results is a fool. The greater fool still is the fan who denies that when the master puppeteer, Bjarne "Mr 60%" Riis is pulling the strings, "probs doping" is the operative phrase.

Tyler and Ivan both suddenly went from really strong to insanely strong. Let's not forget Bobby J's resurgence either, though Jullich's never been found to be a doper. Are we to believe all this is due to some glorified paintball boot camp? Even this generally optimistic and positive reporter knows that CSC's military-style team-building exercises do not make anyone ride faster.

Fabian, your ride was amazing and I, for one, admire your panache and your enthusiasm for our sport, but fear the worst. My vocabulary is not colorful enough to speak for my degenerate colleague Mr. 60, but he no doubt thinks you're a shameless ****ing doper.

Bjarne: Danish, Liar

Over the weekend a Belgian television show pointed new allegations against 1996 Tour de France winner Bjarne Riis. Former soigneur Jef d'Hont said several Telekom riders used the banned blood booster EPO in the mid-1990s and accused Riis of riding with a hematocrit level well above the 50-percent cutoff later established as a healthy parameter.
d'Hont said Riis had a hematocrit of 64 at one time during the Tour, caused by the use of EPO.

This is a huge story here in Cycopaths land. We are shocked, SHOCKED, at these scurrilous accusations. Your intrepid reporter may even have to change his name. Mr 64% anybody?

Riis has issued a rather cryptic denial, saying, "To me, it's all in the past and I do not wish to be held accountable every time someone finds it interesting to bring up some ten-year-old story. I truly believe the future is much more important than the past. I want to be judged on the work I'm doing with my team today, and the results we achieve - that is what's important to me."
Right, Bjarne. Why they gotta bring up old shit?
It is only fair that you should be judged on the work you've done with your team. That's beyond reproach, right? Except for Tyler Hamilton and Ivan Basso, of course.
No, you have Sastre. He hasn't tested positive yet.

Get the needle, Ivan, it looks ready.