Don't call it a comeback

Yes, the Cycopaths are back. And when I say "Cycopaths", I mean platogrande. And when I say back I mean "for now". You may be wondering what happened to us? Were platogrande's Catalan origins discovered while in Madrid, leading to months of torture in a cellar under la Puerta del Sol? Was Mr. 60 rubbed-out by an elite Team CSC tactical unit? (as a team-building exercise, of course).

Alas, the truth is not as interesting. Yours truly, platogrande has been busy riding (some cycling bloggers really do ride) and working long hours. Mr. 60? What's been keeping him away? Well, we Cycopaths believe a picture is worth a thousand words:

She only comes out at night

As for the promised ContaCoverage from Madrid, here, only four months late revealed for the first time, are the Cycopaths' exclusive photos from ContaCraziness in Madrid at the end of the '07 TdF.

Contador was everywhere, in the newspapers...

on the TV,

and even in the water supply!



But nowhere was there a hint of the doping allegations heard everywhere else in the world. Madrid was thrilled to have a local product win a prestigious event such as "el Tour". The funny thing was how everyone, right down the mayor, called a "Madridleño". The guy is from Pinto, not Mardid. Saying he's from Madrid is like saying Mary J Blige is a New Yorker because she's from Yonkers. I can't blame the folks from Pinto for being excited, though, and excited and dorky they were:

Months later, though, the question still remains: did Cadel lose to a doper?

Is there a hint of guilt in that smirk?

T-Mobile hangs-up

No more Euros for you, foo'!

T-Mobile today said to cycling today, "we r thru". Yes, the multinational megatelco that shrugged off Sergui Gonchar (or is it Honchar?) and Jan Ullrich doping scandals apparently found young Patrick Sinkewitz' transgressions to be too much. The question that remains is, was it the EPO or the testo that did it? Seriously, if Sinkewitz had only done one or the other, but not both, would have that been enough to save the sponsorship?

We may never know the answer. Speculation may begin, though, on what the new team kits will be like. Perhaps they plan to borrow Unibet's kit while they court a new clueless title sponsor.

Linus Gerdemann would make this look good

Word has it that the squad will race as "Team High Road", with the team named after the management company that operates it. Is this an indication of a plan to operate "dope-free" like the American "Team Slipstream"? Cycopaths' intrepid European correspondent, Old Dirty Sprinter has evidence that supports this theory, having obtained exclusive photographs of what is believed to be the teams new emblem:

In a madmam's dream...

Cadel still isn't going to win

It has been suggested on these very pages that perhaps I don't like Australians. That's not true, at all. However, I admit to being pleased to see Cadel Evans doing his thing: hanging around but not winning anything (unless, of course, Vino is formally stripped of his TT win for being a doper). Why does the sight of Cadel admirably hanging on then getting dropped like a bad habit make me feel warm and fuzzy? It must be because I know he won't win. All signs, in fact, point to Cadel finishing second or third in Paris. By his own admission, the last TT doesn't suit his characteristics, so too bad, maybe next time, Cadel! In fact, the Cycopaths are so confident, that we plan to give live or near live on-the-ground coverage of what is no doubt going to be a jubilant celebration in Madrid. That's right, this reporter has packed his folding bike and is off to Alberto Contador's hometown. If you're wondering where my lazy colleague Mr. 60% has gone, he's been busy commenting on other blogs.

Deutschland Uber Doping

Today's "oh snap" moments come to us courtesy of T-Mobile's Patrick Sinkewitz. Not only did the former Tour of Germany winner put a 78 year old Tour fan into a coma with his teeth (how does that happen?), but now reports are coming out that he's just like everybody else a doper. That's right, another positive testosterone test. The result? German TV is done with le Tour. Never mind the fact that the positive test was taken during a training camp. Sure it was shortly before this year's Tour, but what next? Can we assume that if news comes out that the East German Olympians doped back in the day (shocking!) that Beijing '08 is off the sched too? I hope our readers in Germany get Eurosport!

VDB: Patron Saint of Teh Cycopaths

What's that, Bill? Here. Let me roll that for you.

Nothing concerning VDB surprises us anymore. Really!
The latest controversy surrounding cycling's own Lindsay Lohan (skinnier, more Belgian) are reports that he has run away with a married woman from Deinze, Belgium and her 22 month-old child to Normandy.
Of course he did! Not mentioned in any news report is that Frank is under the impression that he's on tour with Funkadelic's George Clinton and Ghetto Boys' Bushwick Bill.

Cycopaths: Talented, Famous

This is where you go to meet the Cycopaths

If you've ever had doubts about the popularity of the Cycopaths, put them away, because we're but one step short of having to fight-off the paparazzi. You know you're famous when a random person on the subway has read your blog. That's right, while I was taking the subway instead of riding the new carbon fiber Platogrande-mobile in the pouring rain, an admirer of the fiber weave of the Scott CR1 in my clutches -- obviously a fellow with excellent taste in bikes and blogs -- enthusiastically said when told about cycopaths.net, "Yeah, I've read that blog before." Can Oscar party invites and rehab be far behind?

Mr. 49%? I hope not.

Fabulous Fabian Cancellara's win in yesterday's Stage 3 of le Tour was absolutely thrilling. Well, until about five seconds after he crossed the line, when I remembered which team he is on and who runs that team. Any fan who is not skeptical these days of any fantastic race results is a fool. The greater fool still is the fan who denies that when the master puppeteer, Bjarne "Mr 60%" Riis is pulling the strings, "probs doping" is the operative phrase.

Tyler and Ivan both suddenly went from really strong to insanely strong. Let's not forget Bobby J's resurgence either, though Jullich's never been found to be a doper. Are we to believe all this is due to some glorified paintball boot camp? Even this generally optimistic and positive reporter knows that CSC's military-style team-building exercises do not make anyone ride faster.

Fabian, your ride was amazing and I, for one, admire your panache and your enthusiasm for our sport, but fear the worst. My vocabulary is not colorful enough to speak for my degenerate colleague Mr. 60, but he no doubt thinks you're a shameless ****ing doper.