Another day, another doper?

What, me worry?

I'd like to say that the world of cycling has been rocked by the announcement of Ivan Basso's suspension but then I'd be a liar. After all, his dog is named "Birrillo" and he did come in 16 seconds behind in a Giro stage with Simoni. How could he not be guilty?

I admit, though, to not being entirely convinced. Has anybody checked the name of Davide Rebellin's dog? If it's "Birrillo", there are going to be some very embarrassed anti-doping officials out there. Never mind the fact that Basso's victories in the Giro '06 and Tour of Denmark '05 were ridiculously dominant. Or that his DS was the namesake of my Cycopaths colleague Mr. 60%.

Apparently Italian officials are convinced that there's enough circumstantial evidence to warrant an investigation; blood bags are on the way to Italy at this very moment. DNA whacked Ullrich, why not Basso? But, we ask, when is Basso's dog getting DNA tested? and is that canine master of disguise still at large?

Does this look like a doper to you?

The Writing on the Wall is in Blood

"Today I'm ending my career as a professional cyclist,"
- Jan Ullrich, February 26, 2007

Ah, Ulle, you knew the jig was up, it seems. While some us refused to believe that the reign of Der Kaiser as second (or fourth) fiddle was not at an end, there can surely be no doubt now. Even this optimistic, some say naive reporter has trouble believing that this dope test was "rigged", as the party line goes.

I concur with my colleague, Mr 60%, that our beloved sport of cycling is at fault more than any individual. Still, we must question why some individuals take the fall for the entire sport. Remember how Paco Mancebo retired then unretired? Why isn't his DNA being tested, we wonder. Bad luck for Ulle, or perhaps stupidity, as suggested by an avid Cycopaths reader:

Well, you do have to wonder what kind of chapucero would use a double-secret codename like "Jan". Who would have thought that it was really the Kaiser's blood? Nicely done, Eufemiano.

Given that, it does seem kind of smart of Lance to go with a guy who knows how to hide the bodies... err... blood bags.

And what of Ivan Basso, and his dog Birrillo? My theory? Birrillo disguised himself and played the part of lookout man dog.

Levi Adopts Birrillo?

The picture above, published today in the San Francisco Chronicle, apparently depicts Levi 'the eternal 6th' Leipheimer and his wife Odessa (w/ pony tail at center, right) sharing their home with Birrillo.

Is Birrillo helping Levi prepare for his spring campaign?

Did Basso leave him behind during his training camp in Solvang?

Did Birrillo really think we'd fall for his cow disguise?

Many questions, few answers.

Mysterious Birrillo Found!

The picture at left, snapped yesterday in Verona by intrepid Cycopaths photographer El Queco, may be of Operation Puerto stalwart Birillo. He was seen leaving the famous Bugiardo Hotel early in the morning.

"He emerged after dawn with one of his handlers. I'd been waiting all night and was amazed by his nonchalance. He walked to the corner, pooped on Clinton's face, and as simple as that, turned and went back into the hotel," said a stunned Queco.

Birillo first came to our attention last summer when Spanish magazine 'Interview' leaked pages of the Operation Puerto Dossier. In it, Birillo is listed as having received $70,000 of doping products. At first it was thought that Birillo was a codename for Ivan Basso, who subsequently was dropped by his CSC team from their Tour de France roster. After a thorough investigation by Spanish Authorities it was revealed that Birillo was Basso's dog, clearly vindicating the Italian rider. This freed a relieved Basso to sign for team Discovery Channel, a team with much more private and sophisticated 'training' regimen. It is not yet known why a chihuahua needs seventy grand in doping supplies, but many believe (nobody really- ed.)Birillo has therapeutic exemptions for many of them.

More as this story develops.