Another day, another doper?

What, me worry?

I'd like to say that the world of cycling has been rocked by the announcement of Ivan Basso's suspension but then I'd be a liar. After all, his dog is named "Birrillo" and he did come in 16 seconds behind in a Giro stage with Simoni. How could he not be guilty?

I admit, though, to not being entirely convinced. Has anybody checked the name of Davide Rebellin's dog? If it's "Birrillo", there are going to be some very embarrassed anti-doping officials out there. Never mind the fact that Basso's victories in the Giro '06 and Tour of Denmark '05 were ridiculously dominant. Or that his DS was the namesake of my Cycopaths colleague Mr. 60%.

Apparently Italian officials are convinced that there's enough circumstantial evidence to warrant an investigation; blood bags are on the way to Italy at this very moment. DNA whacked Ullrich, why not Basso? But, we ask, when is Basso's dog getting DNA tested? and is that canine master of disguise still at large?

Does this look like a doper to you?

Boredom expected, Tour of Georgia delivers

As if things couldn't get any worse for the Tour of Georgia, a bunch of also-rans finished on the podium. If names like Brajkovic and Vandevelde meant nothing to you before the ToG, well, that's probably still the case. The only entertainment was seeing Levi Leipheimer peak too early for le Tour by months instead of weeks. Somebody should have told him that Ivan Basso might be a proved a doper and not be racing by July.

Win a Date with Mr. 60

Whose legs are these? Leave any and all guesses in the comments section.

Is This The Face of HGH?

Probs not, but we like to think so.

Bruyneel: Belgian, Tacky

Johan Bruyneel was caught speeding during stage three of the Tour of Georgia. According to cyclingnews.com, Bruyneel was driving in excess of 90 miles per hour (150 km/h) and is now prohibited from driving the team car during stage five. Although Johan was probably speeding to catch the breakaway group which went on to finish 29 minutes ahead of the peloton, we here at Cycopaths like to think he was rushing back to his hotel to see fellow Belgian Jean Claude Van Damme's boner dance.

VDB: The Comeback

Cycling's unintentional Lenny Bruce, Frank Vandenbroucke, will return to racing this week, in the Giro d'Abruzzo. "I have a good plan," said the Belgian, who now rides for Acqua & Sapone.

By that he means he'll ride to the first feed zone, climb aboard his imaginary Gryphon, and eat brownie mix as they fly high above Flanders.

The wings, they flap like this.

Dead is Better

Some philosophers (notably utilitarians) have argued that lying is not prohibited in certain circumstances, such as when telling a lie will save an innocent life. Some philosophers have also argued that paternalistic lying, or lying for the good of those lied to, is justified, even if it violates their autonomy.
And then there is Tyler Hamilton.

He is the Epimenides paradox incarnate.

"All Cretans are liars," said Epimenides the Cretan.

"I don't know this guy [Spanish doctor Eufemiano Fuentes]. I've never met this guy. If somebody has a question, please ask me. Sure they've sent my name out to the press and I've basically gotten railroaded. But they haven't asked for my hair. If you want my hair, take it." said Tyler.

Oh, well, that pretty much clears it up all up, right? Thank you for your honesty, Tyler.
Ah, but wait. He somehow fails to mention this:


Right. The receipt for doping treatments and supplies from Dr. Fuentes to his wife, Haven.

If Tyler didn't dope, and Haven is spending 40,000 Euro on doping products then what's going on?

This could mean one only thing:

They are going to raise Tugboat from the dead and nurse him back to health.

All the Cycopaths can say is: don't do it, Tyler.
Animals who have been resurrected in this fashion are never the same.

Speaking of liars, Floyd and Tyler share the same lawyer: Howard Jacobs.

We miss him too, Tyler.